Its been many months of silence. I've been treading water and sometimes almost drowning. I don't know if I should save the marriage or just let him leave. I feel torn, mostly because I could do without the stresses and strains but at the same time, when things are good, they were good, and our daughter is happy and I feel that if I do not do my best in saving the marriage, I will live with regret.
In our marriage, the fact that he is an undiagnosed AS man was never taken into consideration in terms of how to handle the challenges we have as a married couple.
Saturday was a good day. First time in a long time that he was actually kind, and sweet to us. He was also joking with us a lot, in his goofy kinda way (though conventionally it is not really intelligent humour, considering he is quite an intelligent man!). And then Sunday it was all downhill, he was tired, grumpy and just not in a good space. By the end of the afternoon he was shouting his head off, and used the F word to scold our daughter. The thing is he doesn't even realise the impact it has on other people. And when I bring it up, he would play it down and thinks I am over reacting. When the reality is he is the one that over reacts big time when triggered in small ways! If he were to read this, he would say that it is just my perspective! Yes maybe. But it would be anyone's perspective, except his, if we were to say that it is an over reaction on his part to use the F word on our daughter. She is 9, not your worst enemy!
I guess I am really exasperated. I am exhausted just thinking about it.
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