On the way to divorce now but found this sad entry in my journal...

I found this piece from my journal from many many months ago.....

Too many thoughts and feelings....

I'm married to a robot. Do I want to accept this? Can I?

I'm never going to have any emotional support from him

I'm never going to have any financial support from him

I'm never going to have a normal marriage

I'm never going to have a husband who is sweet and nice to me, who cares about me the way I want to be cared for.

I am never going to be his priority. Just as our marriage will never be a priority for him. 

He is robotic and will never know the impact of the things he says to me and what he does can hurt me

I feel cheated by God and the universe for this man in my life

I guess I am still trying to change him and trying to change our marriage to what I think it should be. I must stop or it will drive me crazy. Literally