Last night I asked him how he felt about us and he said he is just waiting to see. For what I don't know as he didn't elaborate but he did say to see how he feels. And he asked me in return and I told him that I've been doing a lot of research on Asperger's and how it affects couples. And that I'm hopeful for us.
I gave him a hug and told him I love him. And he said he loves me too somewhat. 2 weeks ago it would have pushed a major button in me and I might have exploded and felt nervous and insecure. But I was rather calm last night, so I half jokingly said, of course you do.
This morning however I felt jittery.
I thought a lot and have come to the conclusion that we are better together than apart. I am ahead of myself but these questions come up:
- How is he going to manage an income for himself? Now he is barely earning enough to support his own expenses, let alone afford to pay for rent and also contribute to the upbringing of our daughter.
- how is he going to be remain in this country without proper income? Once divorced, he might not get his PR renewed as he is not earning enough and if he goes back, what about our daughter? She is a citizen here and I will never agree to her going with him.
Ok, so I'm jumping ahead and thinking 2 steps ahead. This is what I keep doing thinking ahead by 2 steps. So it is one of the reasons why I am tired too in this relationship.
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