One realization I had today is that while my AS husband often appears to not want to make decisions with regards to our emotional well being or where the marriage is going. (In my opinion we are in limbo). His reason for this is that he would like things to be organic and not make any firm decisions about anything or where our relationship is going.
So hearing this from him can be exasperating, it made me feel so many things -- he is just stringing me along because he needs me financially, he is just stringing me along because he is using me for sex, he is just stringing me along because he has no courage to call it quits as he can't cope with change.
After reading and researching, I realized that the patterns have always been the same. And why he does this, as if there is no structure and no plans or no patterns, is really a pattern in itself!
The pattern of remaining where we are. He doesn't want change, even if it is for the better! By saying that he prefers things to be organic, he is trying to gain some control over the situation, it is as though he has the upper hand.
How come I never saw through this before?
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